19 and no experience dating an experienced 26 yr old

I was sick and tired of doing what everyone else in the mainstream hookup culture was doing —all with no strings attached. Clearing my phone out of dating apps and cutting ties with the non-committal was one of the first things.It was a choice I’m proud to have gone through with, despite feeling socially disconnected, lonely and unsure about myself at times.I recall we were running so late that my friend had to run inside and get our tickets while I’d park the car.But the problem was there was not a single spot I could find.

I had faith that my efforts would stand out to management and make a difference to our daily workload, but I was definitely proved wrong. He drove a sporty Mercedes and would take me along on joyrides every weekend with his car mates (it had me feeling like I was living a scene out of ).I would do things like avoiding people, screening phone calls or ignoring emails that were difficult or awkward to deal with.These actions only hurt me in the end, to the degree that I began to loose jobs, friendships, money and even respect because of it.I was a pretty outdoorsy kid—you would find me exploring in bushland, riding a push bike, rollerskating, jumping on trampolines or batting in a game of yard cricket.I also had creative callings, like putting on puppet shows, making movies with a handheld video camera and writing adventure storybooks. I say this because when my life isn’t playful or creative, it’s like I lose a light heart and sight of what really makes me happy.

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Four years later I moved back home once more after abruptly quitting my job in the big city and having nowhere to go.

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