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But it’s still hard sometimes, and I think about Jennifer’s advice quite a bit. Instead, I find hundreds of articles about how to advance and evolve, take steps forward.For me, however, progress has come only with a practice of restraint: Relax like a cat and take a step back.Months later, in a quiet moment, I told the girls as much, and let them know it’s OK to have any range of feelings about all this.“It was really hard for me at first,” I said, “and I would understand if it’s weird for you.”More L. Affairs columns“It’s not weird,” said his older daughter. ” I nearly burst out into tears from the joy and relief of acceptance.

Don’t look into the past When you date a divorced man with kids, you’re likely to come across reminders of his former relationship.“I know it’s against your nature,” she said,”but when it comes to his kids, be a cat, not a dog.You’re going to want to hug them and bond with them, but it’ll be better if you relax and hang back. I had already fallen in love with their father, so what would I do if they didn’t like me? David and I both grew up in Northridge, both completed graduate and undergraduate degrees at UCLA, had friends in common from college and recently discovered that my cousin was his childhood music teacher.Wait for them to come to you.”The advice came from my dear friend Jennifer, who has a stepfamily of her own and understands that it takes time and patience to blend and bond. But we didn’t meet until OKCupid matched us, and it was love at first sight.There was no coffee rendezvous; he took me to the fantastically romantic Il Cielo in Beverly Hills on our first date, and we’ve been together ever since. My dating profile indicated that I was open to it, but the gesture was theoretical. We want to publish your story I remember the first time I heard his youngest daughter’s voice.

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