Dating a guy with low self confidence
There is little accommodation, culturally speaking, for not feeling self-confident or in control.
“The man your man could smell like,” a recent video from the popular Old Spice online marketing campaign, stokes that low-self-confidence, from an olfactory level.
So, learning to tune into this deeper knowing may not always be pleasant, and it may be contrary to other people’s messages, but it can bring insight where your mind has been unreliable.
Sometimes, negative emotions come up for us when we sit with them, such as in meditation, journaling, therapy, private time or other contemplative practices.
Suggests the ad: If you can’t smell right, how could you possibly be confident enough to be with her, let alone have sex with her?
Try challenging the messages you are exposed to, because they’re probably not going to give you the self-confidence you’re looking for.
In his book, , Paul Gilbert recalls the shock that the Dalai Lama first experienced in how Westerners plagued themselves with self-dissatisfaction, self-loathing and self-criticism. We know how we “should” be, and it seems everyone’s got an idea of what it means to be self-confident. Our head is swimming with millions of other people’s messages all clamoring for mental airtime, and it’s quite distracting when we need to be trying to tune into our own inner knowing instead.We’ve gotten messages (or a lack of them) from so many different sources—parents, schools, media, women—saying we don’t measure up in some way. Inside our heads, we may intellectually feel secure knowing she loves us, or that we’re killing it at work, or that we are indeed “good enough,” but our gut pumps out another kind of message.Learning how to praise yourself, and give yourself kudos is extremely important to help motivate you to greater success.This sounds like common sense, but too many guys simply don’t know how to do give it to themselves.