Dating marriage muslim dating
One in relief because they’ve crossed the first hurdle; the second as they gear up for the next challenge – getting the parents to agree to the fine print.
Agreement of parents This last phase of the process can be the most stressful.
What comes next is a series of negotiations about wedding plans, the dowry that will be paid, where the young couple will live, and other things that you wouldn’t actually consider. For a lot of us, we feel – rightly or wrongly – that we owe our families a lot. If the groom tries to negotiate the price ‘down’ it can be seen as a huge insult to the bride and could be enough to end the whole thing. This is where my friends ask ‘so who cares what your families think?! Islam is easily the second-largest religion in the world.The couple meets at or just before the wedding and then they ride off into the night as a couple. That’s mostly because in our universe if you’re getting to know someone from the opposite sex, you’re doing it to determine whether you’re compatible enough to them. It means that the rules that Western culture imposes on a ‘first date’ are flipped on their heads. Meeting the parents It’s very important for Muslims to have their parents involved really early in this process. Once the couple thinks they’re ready to take things further, the family of the groom will visit the family of the bride to ask for her hand in marriage. Tea and coffee and snacks are prepared and all the fine china is brought out.Neither of these scenarios represent the norm for the typical Western Muslim. We ask super serious questions that prod into the history of the person, their financial status, whether they want to have kids or not and anything else that our parents will interrogate us about when we tell them we’ve found someone. And this interrogation continues for as long as necessary until we’ve asked all the important questions. This is because our parents have conditioned us to feel guilty about not telling them things. The bride freaks out and wonders whether she has warned the groom about all the oddities of her family and whether she has coached him enough about what he should and shouldn’t say. They prepare the gift(s) they have bought for the bride – y’know, flowers, sweets, chocolates, whatever.