Dating someone who is anorexic
And it might not have occurred to you that telling me I’m perfect as I am when I’m feeling less-than-perfect might not be as constructive as you thought it was.Dear partner, I understand that you don’t understand what it’s like to have an eating disorder, and I want you to know that you’re not trying to trigger me.If you’re willing to be supportive of your partner’s recovery, then that means you are willing to be sensitive about the language you use around them.There’s nothing wrong about wanting to share your excitement about doing something that makes you feel great with your partner, like starting a gluten-free diet or training for an obstacle race.
As a partner, you need to be prepared for rough days.
Counting the number of cookies left in the jar when you live with a binge-eater or shooting disapproving looks at a former anorexic who hasn’t finished her meal can be more damaging than helpful.
Eating disorders thrive when they’re fed with guilt and shame – guilt for taking part in bad behaviors and shame for Guilt and shame about food may drive your partner to feel like they need to hide the behaviors from you – and eating disorders multiply in the darkness. Obviously, if you see serious and repeated self-harming behaviors that require intervention, that’s a different story, and you can reach out to family members or qualified professionals who can assist in the case of a relapse.
Dear Partner, You probably didn’t think that the text you sent last night about your Crossfit personal record might be a problem.
You also probably had no idea that I’d spend hours dwelling on the offhand comment you made about eating too many calories at lunch.