Dating within alcoholics anonymous
I gotta accept them unconditionally program and not. (((((hugs))))) Hi GG, I personally dont have any experience dating in AA.
Early on we have very little to offer another person until we can work on our defects and clear away wreckage of the past, and learn to love ourselves first.
The most obvious is that the stress of the relationship, or the ending of it, can be a tremendous trigger for the alcoholic to drink.
Secondly, getting sober is an introspective process and some what of a fact/fault/amends/solution finding/implementing mission (see 4th - 9th steps) and relationships are a huge distraction to that process.
first off, I know the AA recommendation about not dating during your first year of sobriety. :) My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago (completely amicable, he moved to Chicago to start grad school and the distance just became unsustainable, I live in San Francisco). He's great, seems very stable and self-aware, he doesn't drink (not in the program but just chooses not to).
My ex has been great and supportive, he was also in the program and recently shared with me some of the things that went wrong in the disastrous relationship he got into at 3 months sober -- being overly vulnerable, got attached too quickly, and lost focus on himself and his recovery, as a way of helping me know what pitfalls to look out for.
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Then I had another string of false starts and now I just don't care that much.