Soon to be ex husband is dating
’ This can best be explained by describing the feelings a woman can experience when her ex-husband gets a girlfriend. Men might use a new relationship to numb the pain, to aleve loneliness, or even as a subliminal way to get back at his ex who left him. And what is bad about that is that the legal battle all of a sudden becomes so much more contentious. Being newly separated makes men and women feel broken. People grow and learn from a divorce—one of the good things that come out of it (and there aren’t many.) So take advantage of what you have learned to be a better person for someone else. The guy said to me, “Well, what’s stopping you from doing the same thing? In other words, after we become separated, (with the intent of divorce) we are responsible only for our own happiness, and we have no control (and we shouldn’t want it) for our ex and his love life. Or, maybe even though it was his wife who left, the man was lonely and felt alone for years. I have seen women become furious when they find out their ex-husband gets a girlfriend. The deals that are already on the table can fall through, with the woman putting her emotions before practicality and making divorce decisions based on her newfound hatred for her ex, because he is now sleeping with another woman and seems happy. The anger is blocking any sense of good decision making. And when a woman feels that way, the last thing on her mind is getting into a relationship. You and your ex hadn’t talked in 10 years and then you asked him for a divorce. By the way, no more than a month later, I met someone and had a 3 month romance that was fun and refreshing and very endearing. That said, if you meet someone who makes your heart flutter, then this might be a relationship you want to pursue. Be upfront about the fact you’re dating while separated Bringing up the ex is often seen as a dating no-no.Just be really honest with yourself: are you thinking about dating them because you like the of them? But, if you’re dating while separated, you’ll find that honesty really is the best policy, no matter how awkward it might feel. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online.
Dating during a separation can lead to healthy love – but only if you’re in the right place emotionally. Only date someone if you really want to be dating Many freshly separated people try to distract themselves from the hurt of a split by seeking a new partner; someone to have on hand because being alone is so unfamiliar.
It’s ok to feel blue sometimes, it's ok to feel free and happy.
As long as you have the legal go-ahead, don't rush back into dating, and are honest when you do meet someone, chances are your feelings will become increasingly more stable and positive.
Far better to be upfront about your relationship status and your relationship intentions, and let this new person fall for the real you. Allow yourself to feel your feelings – whatever they are Jackie Pilossoph describes the process of divorce as ‘’a roller coaster of highs and lows’’ and dating while separated is no exception.
Some mornings you’ll wake up and the whole world will feel full of possibility: there are so many great people to meet and fabulous places for new love to lead you.