Weve been dating for three months
As Richardson puts it, "There are some people who know on the first date that this is the relationship they want to be in." So forget what they say about fools rushing in — these two women knew almost instantly that they were in love, and their partners were just as sure.After our first date, my boyfriend and I made plans to see each other every day for like, two weeks straight. It's all kind of a blur, but I think it was right around that two-week mark that we looked at each other one night and said, 'So, we're definitely together, right? We've been together for two years now, so I'd say our gut instincts were right.She'd just recently started dating women and still wanted to explore, which makes total sense, but I kept telling myself that I could make her fall for me.We hooked up for probably four or five months before I had to just step back and say, 'Hey, I can't do this anymore. We went to concerts and brunch and did, like, couple sh*t together.Dating today is filled with question marks, unspoken rules, and just a general sense of mystery.We're all tasked with balancing definitive interest with that hard-to-get chase, ensuring that our love interests know we're into them, but not, like, into them.I knew I wanted to be with my boyfriend after just two weeks.
That took forever to get over because I was mourning something that never really existed. It wasn't until we ran into some of his coworkers one night and he introduced me as a 'friend' that I started to feel kind of insecure about it, and then I found out that he'd been seeing and sleeping with other girls the whole time, which really sucked.
It lies in recognizing that a potential partner really can (and will) give you what you need."The number one thing I wish people would do is really listen to what's happening and what [their partner] is saying, not hearing what they want to hear," says Richardson.
"A lot of times, we hear what we want to hear and we see what we want to see, and that's when we get hurt." Way easier said than done, right?
But then — maybe eight or nine or a million dates in — the question of, "Wait, what are we? Inevitably, you start to wonder whether it's time to call off that cat-and-mouse game or maintain a chill façade — I mean, how long should you wait to define the relationship?
It's a question I've asked myself on a number of occasions, first as a dazed and confused teenager, and then as an even-more-confused adult (or whatever it is that I am).